Writing

Death By Cake

A recipe play by Marolyn Krasner

Rookie: Sorry it took me so long. I came as soon as you called, traffic is really heavy.

Detective: It's always heavy Rookie. That's what the sirens are for.

Rookie: Yes detective.

Detective: You sure you're ready for homicide Rookie?

Rookie: I'm ready.

Detective: Try to keep up. About an hour ago hotel staff called in to report strange noises coming from this room. They tried to look into it, but the occupant or occupants yelled at them to leave me alone. They left the occupant alone, but became concerned and called it in anyway.

Rookie. They were scared something bad was happening.

Detective: Well they don’t call us to tell us things are just fine and dandy, do they Rookie? Someone come into your place of business and starts wailing? You call us.

Rookie: Yes detective.

Detective: Our guys came to have a look. The owner accompanied them and when the occupant did not answer the door, the owner unlocked the door, finding the scene we are now faced with. White female, mid 30s to 40s, found about an hour ago in this position lying down on the bed.

Rookie: Any idea what happened?

Detective: Yeah, I know exactly what happened, but you're going to tell me what you think. And Rookie, you better be right.

Rookie. OK, OK. Gosh, what's all that on the bed there?

Detective: It's a cake, Rookie, haven't you ever seen a cake before?

Rookie: Let me have a look around in this kitchenette. Whipped cream, jam, empty containers for fresh blueberries and strawberries, canned peaches, custard and this looks like a container for a store bought sponge cake. A round one. Two layers by the looks. Detective, do you think she made that cake?

Detective: I don't think she made it, I think she assembled it.

Rookie. Assembled it. Here? In a motel room? Would someone make a cake in a motel?

Detective: Yeah Rookie, someone would assemble a cake in a motel room.

Rookie: Detective, I don't' know what to say.

Detective: Cut the dramatics Rookie and tell me what you see.

Rookie: Well, this cake has three, no four layers and on each layer is a combination of jam, whipped cream, custard, berries and peaches.

Detective: Yeah and do you notice anything about that middle layer?

Rookie: Uh, do I notice anything about the middle layer?

Detective: Look at the texture, Rookie. God dammit, look.

Rookie: Sorry detective, the texture. Oh, it's wet. She's soaked it with something.

Detective: You're on the right track there. Have a look around again in the kitchenette.

Rookie: Right. OK, a big knife, that must be how she cut the sponge. Spoons in the sink, this one was for the cream and custard, see the color difference on the spoon. She didn't care that she was mixing the cream and custard together as she spread it on the layers.

Detective: Go on.

Rookie: This is unbelievable, do you think she assembled that cake using only utensils from this motel kitchenette?

Detective: Do you see anything that could be from her personal kitchen?

Rookie: No detective. That butter knife was definitely used to smear the jam. What flavour is that? Oh my god detective, this is homemade. She brought in homemade raspberry jam. The forethought is eerie.

Detective: The layer, Rookie. What about the middle layer?

Rookie: Right. Um, is it the peaches? Yes, look, she's emptied the peaches out into this bowl and this other bowl had peach juice in it.

Detective: Syrup Rookie? You're wasting my time.

Rookie: Yes, syrup, detective.

Detective: Are you telling me I’m wrong, Rookie? I have 20 years of experience and I know for a fact...

Rookie: It says syrup on the can. Here, look.

Detective: Syrup, Jesus.

Rookie: Light syrup, detective. Peaches in light syrup.

Detective: OK, good catch. Run me through the whole scenario.

Rookie: OK, white female, in her 30s or 40s books a motel room. I would think she came prepared. She knew this place maybe stayed here before. I need to check that with the owners. She most likely brought the groceries with her when she arrived. She's in what appear to be pyjamas. Let me check the bathroom. Yep there's a wet towel. So she had a shower. What time did she check in?

Detective: Three hours ago.

Rookie: She probably made, assembled the cake right away, you know, to get the sponge good and soaked with the jam and cream, custard and the light peach syrup. Then she had a shower, dressed in her PJs, grabbed the cake, got into bed and started eating it. At some point halfway through the cake, something happened and she passed away.

Detective: Something happened. Is that what we're going to tell the family Rookie. Give me a cause of death?

Rookie: I don't know. There is no blood. Maybe she OD'd

Detective: Do you see any sign of drugs?

Rookie: No.

Detective: Then how in the hell do you think she OD’d on drugs.

Rookie: Not drugs detective, cake. She OD'd on cake. Is that even possible?

Detective: If I’ve learned one thing in this gig, Rookie. It’s that anything is possible.

End